A Breakthrough in the Sister-Sister Relationship

 

Before Janae was born, I really worried about how Benjamin would make the transition from only child to big brother. It was such a relief when he surprised everyone by loving his new role, becoming happier and gentler than ever before. He's a great big brother.

Now that Janae is a few months away from becoming a big sister, we are looking for signs that she, too, might make the transition smoothly.

 

But with her open hostility toward babies, this has been quite difficult.

It's not unusual for us to hear Janae say, out of the blue, "Hit the baby" or "Smack the baby," then look at me for a reaction. On several occasions, I've seen her pick up one of her baby dolls, shout, "Mad! Mad! Mad!" then beat the doll against the floor.

We don't know where this behavior is coming from--everyone else in the family loves babies, and we've tried to show her how to treat people kindly.

 

Anyway, on Monday I took Janae with me to my doctor's appointment. Before we went, I explained that we would hear the baby's heartbeat. (Janae is really interested in the body and will often remark that her own "heart is beating.")

At the appointment, when Janae heard the heartbeat, she said, "Want to see it." (Which I thought was a lot better than "Want to hit it.") But on the car ride home, when I asked Janae if she liked hearing the baby's heartbeat, she said, "No. It was too noisy."

Then last night Janae and I had this conversation:

Janae pointed to my big round belly and said, "Baby in Mommy's tummy?"

Me: "Yes, there's a baby in Mommy's tummy."
Janae: "Alaina?" (This is what we've talked about naming the baby.)
Me: "Yes, it's Alaina--she's going to be your baby sister. Do you like Alaina?"
Janae: "Yes."

Such a small breakthrough, but I was so happy to have this glimmer of hope. Maybe things will be okay. And maybe my kids will try a new vegetable, too. You never know :)