Correction: "Don't Offer . . . REFUSE!"

My efforts to wean Janae are finally making some headway, now that I’ve realized there has been a seriously misleading typo in most of the literature published on the subject of weaning: Where it says, “Don’t offer; don’t refuse,” it should say, “Don’t offer . . . refuse!” (At least when it comes to Janae. . . .)

 

During the summer, when this issue first arose, I followed the “don’t offer; don’t refuse” suggestion that I found in all the books. But when I found that requests were being made 8-15 times in a 24-hour period, I realized I would have to refuse . . . if I wanted to get any sleep (or avoid the feeling that I was starting up my own line of dairy products). So, I refused ALL night feedings (see my post on “Tough Love”), and after a few nights, Janae was used to the new routine.

Well six months passed, and nothing changed. Janae let me know—in very loud and screechy terms—that her daytime feedings were non-negotiable. I didn’t dare refuse, especially after cutting her off at night. All of this changed yesterday, though. . .

Now, please keep in mind that Janae is 22 months old—and while it might seem that I’m trying to deprive her of her babyhood, she really is quite a “big girl” in many ways—she talks very well, listens to long storybooks, and even uses the potty sometimes. She has no problem drinking water, milk, or juice from a cup or through a straw, and she will take a bottle occasionally—she even sings a sweet little song about her “warm milk bubba.”

 

So, yesterday at Janae’s usual nursing times, I told her I had a tummy ache and said I could give her a snuggle, and a bubba, but not a nurse. She took this okay in the afternoon.

At bedtime, Jason tried to distract Janae, but she was crying for Mommy—so I went into her room and rocked her in her rocking chair. She screamed and cried when I gave her my “tummy ache” excuse, but only for about 5 minutes. Then she flopped against me and said, “Songs.” I started singing “Away in a Manger,” but she said, “No.” I tried “I Am a Child of God,” but she said no again. Finally she said, “Jingle Bells” (such a beautiful lullaby, isn’t it?). Next, she allowed, “Morning Town Ride” (a Wiggles song). She sang along with both songs, loudly and cheerfully. Finally she got tired enough to close her eyes and fall asleep.

Today has been much easier. I actually think she is weaned!

 

Don't offer; refuse. It makes perfect sense.

I’m glad I got to the bottom of that typographical error. Hopefully it won’t cause too many problems for too many mothers out there. I really should write to La Leche League. . . .