No Yelling, Screaming, or Shouting, Theoretically

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Throughout my parenting career—which spans more than seven years now if you count the time I was reading up on how to parent my soon-to-be son Benjamin—I have been known to consult a parenting book or two.

In fact, I do not think I am exaggerating when I say that I have probably read EVERY WORD that has been published on at least a couple of parenting topics, including getting babies/toddlers to sleep at night and how to wean a toddler (without finding anything really helpful in either case, unfortunately).

There are, however, many parenting books and articles that I have found very helpful, and dozens of topics that I have read very little about so far.

A couple of weeks ago we had a parenting class at our church, where a behavior therapist presented some information and then answered questions.

Since I arrived late and had to leave early, I was grateful the presenter had a handout . . . with a reading list. A reading list that comprised a number of books I hadn’t read or even heard of, several of which sounded not only interesting but helpful.

These included Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice, The Explosive Child, and Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child.

 

As you might have noticed, there are a couple of parenting issues (besides sleep and weaning) that I have to admit I have been desperate for help on.

As soon as I got home, I went to our library website and requested these books, confident I would be first in line since—as I mentioned—I had left the meeting early :)

Within a week I had my books. As I surveyed the material, and then began an in-depth reading, I had to wonder where these books had been all my parenting life!

All three are excellent.

My favorite, though, which I highly recommend (and plan to buy and re-read constantly for the next few years), is Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice.

 

Anyone who has known me a long time might be puzzled by this. Not only am I not the type of person to scream and shout (being calm, serene, mild-mannered, and infinitely patient), but whenever I try to raise my voice . . . well, it doesn’t really work. All that comes out is a high-pitched squeak.

All I can say is JANAE (or—probably more fairly—being the mother of three small children including Janae).



Unfortunately my middle child has brought out the high-pitched squeak enough times that it’s had a bit of practice and almost does sound like a yell now.

Of course, I am not proud of this accomplishment and have thought there must be a better way to get my almost four-year-old daughter—who really is very sweet and small, and who needs love and patience as much as any other child—to listen and learn.

Anyway, this book not only outlines the damage that can be done by parents raising their voices, it also teaches parents how to prevent a lot of yelling, screaming and shouting.

This book also provides ways to increase positive interactions with children, the goal being to maintain a better relationship with them—since parents’ relationships with their children has turned out to be their only source of lasting influence on them.

 

Of course, there are still issues the book hasn’t fully solved for me, such as what to do if your children are shrieking in such a way that they cannot hear the parents’ calm, rational voice, or what to do if the parent asks the children to get into the van when late for school and the children continue to wander around in the front yard (just joking—neither of those ever happen with my kids!) .

So, if you hear high-pitched raised voices coming from our house . . . hopefully it will only be happy screams :)

Theoretically, it won’t be coming from me!