I'm Janae's Mother . . .

For this exercise I would like you to close your eyes.

Imagine you are sitting in a room where four mothers are chatting quietly. Behind a closed door, classical music plays.

Suddenly you think you hear shouting . . . it turns into full-out yelling. Then crying. Then hysterics. You hope it is one of the other girls, but deep down you know. . . .

The door opens and an exasperated ballet teacher asks, "Is Janae's mother here?"

You are Janae's mother.

You can now open your eyes.

You are not Janae's mother, but I am :)

I thought I had it rough when this little scenario happened several weeks in a row. I was, however, able to remain at least outwardly calm, and the solution was simple: we discontinued our ballet classes.

 

But, of course, the problem continues at home. Yelling and screaming--often without an apparent cause. Unkind words directed at me. Everyone in the family distressed by it all.



I have tried spending extra time one-on-one with Janae--rocking her in the rocking chair while singing her favorite songs, taking her to the park while Alaina is asleep, playing whatever she wants to play while Ben is at school, giving her my undivided attention.

 

Usually things go well during Alaina's nap or while Ben is at school, but then as soon as a sibling is back on the scene, Janae's behavior gets even worse than it was before.

 

One day after I'd put in a lot of extra effort with Janae, she turned to me while I was washing the dishes and said, "Mommy, I need more love!"

 

I guess she doesn't realize that everything I do is an attempt to show her love.

I could never have guessed how much strength it takes to be a mom.