How I Really Feel about Kindergarten

Warning: Negative Content

I consider myself an honest person, but I have to confess that often when people ask how things are going, I am reluctant to admit that they aren't going well. I don't like to come across as negative. But I thought my blog readers have a right to know. . . .

Quite a while back now, I wrestled with the choice of where to send Benjamin for kindergarten. Sending my firstborn to school was not a matter I took lightly, and I looked into every possibility. Finally, Jason and I settled on a traditional school; we'd heard a lot of good about the school, Jason really liked the principal and everything he saw when he visited the school, and even though I was hesitant to choose such an ultra conservative educational setting, I had to admit I liked the idea of a "safer" environment--and although I didn't like the idea of school uniforms, I thought little Benjamin would look very cute (almost like sending him off to Hogwarts or something. . . ).

Then school actually started, and I have a few problems.

Problem #1: The VAN

You may remember that we bought a minivan the day before Alaina was born. This means that I drove the much larger, longer, taller, and redder vehicle only one time before I started driving Ben to school (on no sleep and with at least one person crying on any given occasion). Every time I drive the van I have the strangest sensation that it is going to tip over (I'm used to a much lower car), and then there's the busy parking lot--FULL of minivans and SUVs pulling in and out all over the place . . . with me paralyzed by fear in the middle of it. Scary times.

 

(Of course, the van was my idea, and I'd hate to be loading all three kids into the back of my Camry 2+ times a day. . . . )

Problem #2: Getting Janae into the Van 2+ Times a Day

Janae does not like the new kindergarten routine any more than I do. In fact, while I simply sigh and get myself going, Janae actually refuses to go. She literally kicks and screams (I've noticed a few neighbors peeking out their doors to see if someone is actually kidnapping Janae), throws her shoes across the room (after I have put them on her and buckled them up), and tries to hit, bite, squeeze or otherwise prevent me from carrying her out to the van.

Problem #3: The Treacherous Stairway to the Kindergarten Drop-Off/Pick-Up Area

Benjamin's school has a small upper parking lot (on the same level as the school), but if we don't get there at least half an hour early (which is hard with a newborn who wants to nurse right before we leave, and--of course--a toddler who is refusing to be loaded into the van), we have to park in the lower lot. Between the lower lot and the school is a steep cement stairway in the middle of a grassy hill.

 

Under normal conditions, I wouldn't mind these stairs--in fact, when we went to activities at the school before September, I thought they were fine--but carrying a newborn up the steep stairs is a little scary (especially when she is crying and I've taken her out of her carseat for the hike), and if Janae falls asleep in the van (which she is tending to do--after all the kicking and screaming), it is impossible to carry both her and Alaina. Other moms casually leave their children in their vans while they run up the stairs (the parking lot is easy to see from the kindergarten door), but I don't know . . . it's not really me (although I did leave Janae sleeping once already). And what am I going to do when it's pouring rain or icy? Get there even earlier, I guess.

Problem #4: The School Uniform

Once the initial cuteness wore off (which took about one day for me), I began to detest the school uniform. I don't like seeing all the kids dressed the same. I look at Ben in the morning, wearing his usual shorts and T-shirt, and think, "Why can't he just wear this to school?" I didn't realize what a non-conformist I am.

 

The other day I was asking Ben who he likes to play with at school, and he said it was a boy he met before school on the playground (apparently when he was there with Jason). I asked Ben to describe the boy, and he said, "He was that guy wearing a white shirt . . . and blue pants." Oh him! Aren't they ALL wearing white shirts and blue pants??? Honestly!

Problem #5: The Mysterious Classroom

This is the last point I will raise, but I don't like the way the kids line up outside, wave goodbye, and then follow their teacher through a door that leads to their classroom.

 

I like the preschool way, where mommy got to go into the classroom, help little Ben with his coat and shoes, help him get to the bathroom and wash his hands--then get him to his name tag and book. I could see the classroom and what the teacher had prepared for the day . . . and say goodbye to Benjamin knowing that he was okay. After kindergarten I am almost in tears when I see Ben come out with his shoes on the wrong feet (having to change quickly by himself). I know he needs to grow up, but I would like to have a little more contact with the classroom (very nosey, I know!) and be there for Ben if he needs help.

Now, if you've made it this far, I'm sure you're wondering if there is anything I do like about kindergarten. And actually, there is. I really like Ben's teacher, who has been teaching for over 20 years in our school district and seems very kind and thoroughly competent. I also like how excited Ben is when he tells me about a game they've played or something he has learned. I guess having a good teacher and getting excited about learning are the most important things about kindergarten, so maybe it will all be okay. And hopefully there will be lots more good stuff to come . . . I don't like to be negative, you know? :)