"Neither a Borrower Nor a Lender Be"?

Near the beginning of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, a character named Polonius (kind of an old windbag type) gives his son a bunch of advice, including the counsel, "neither a borrower nor a lender be." While I'm sure we've all felt disappointed about having borrowed items returned to us in a less-than-perfect state, I don't mind lending so much as borrowing. In fact, I think I would re-write this piece of advice as "a lender but not a borrower be," especially when it comes to books. Let me explain.

In the past, when there was a book I wanted to read or that was recommended to me, I would immediately go to a bookstore and buy or order the book. I would enjoy taking the new book home, examining the cover, and over the next few days or weeks (depending on the book), absorbing its information or story. I really am a book worm.

 

Over the past few years, though, I have found that this practice is too expensive--especially when, after spending $20+ on a novel, I would find that I didn't enjoy it enough to keep it, and would end up donating it to a second-hand store. To a single girl, this might be fine, but to a mom of almost three--with shoes and school clothes and diapers to buy--I don't feel that I can constantly be spending money on books for myself. It is especially hard to justify when you look at the shelves and boxes and piles of books that I already own. We hardly have room for all of these books!

 

So, I have taken to borrowing books from the library or from other people, but the pleasure of reading has been greatly reduced.

In fact, even though I love to read, I HATE borrowing books for myself (children's books are wonderful to borrow--we take at least 20 home from the library at a time!). During my 8+ years as an English major at university, I developed some habits that can only be continued with books that I actually own. For example, I love to turn down the page of the spot where I leave off (as opposed to using a bookmark, which can easily fall out). I love to take the book I am reading with me wherever I go--sometimes causing it to becomed battered from being crammed into a purse or diaper bag, fingerprinted with whatever I am eating, or smudged with dirt or sand, depending on the day.

Occasionally I also revert back to my student and teacher practice of actually writing in books, but this only happens if I happen to have a pen in my hand (which these days is pretty rare--I can't even find a pen most of the time). I also take longer to read a book than I used to, since I can only read when my kids are sleeping (have I ever mentioned how little they sleep?), so it is a terrible feeling to be 3/4 of the way through a novel and have to take it back to the library, because someone else is waiting for it. I like to take my time when I read.

 

While these may seem like small things, they really add to my enjoyment of reading. But when the book belongs to someone else, I worry about any little smudge or fold or dent that I cause, and have been known to actually buy the person a new book rather than return the even slightly damaged one I have read. This is especially discouraging, because then I could have taken it to the park or read it while eating chocolate ice cream (not that I eat chocolate ice cream--I don't know where that example came from!), or enjoyed folding down the pages--but I didn't own it until after it had already been read.

When I lend out a book, it is a much different situation. If a person returns it with dents and smudges, I am overjoyed, because I know it's actually been read (and I have someone else to talk to about the book!). I would much rather have a book that shows signs of being read than a pristine copy of a story that a person has only skimmed through or pretended to read.

 

So, what should I do? Invest in books despite the cost? Give up some of my long-standing reading habits? Look for second-hand copies of the books I want to read? Nothing seems quite right. I guess in the mean time I'll just continue to borrow books, despite all my reservations about it. I must really love to read :)