I'll See You in Court

 

When I checked the mail Thursday afternoon, I saw that I'd received a letter from the government. This was not unusual; we often get information in the mail about child tax benefits, as well as forms for payroll deductions or GST payments for Jason's business. Occasionally we get an unexpected cheque, and this is what I thought I had in my hand on Thursday afternoon, because the paper showing through the envelope's window was blue, rather than the usual white. I was not in any way prepared for the contents of this letter:

"You are summoned to appear as a Juror in this Court . . . upon the criminal causes to be tried by Juries; and not to leave without the consent of the Court
as required by law."

Needless to say, I was stunned. My first reaction (which I can only blame on paranoia and lack of sleep) was alarm: "What criminal act have I committed and then forgotten about?" Then, realizing that I was NOT the criminal, I felt a surge of excitement as I pictured myself in the middle of a courtroom drama (I used to watch a lot of Law and Order before I had kids).

Now that that roller coaster of emotions was out of the way, I started to think about how this would actually work. I never leave my kids, let alone for several days while I attempt to determine whether or not a criminal is guilty. And then there was the matter of that criminal--would I be safe after serving on a jury? (remember that paranoia I mentioned?). And the crime--could I really handle hearing all the grisly details of some horrible thing that happened? (like I said, I used to watch a lot of Law and Order before I had kids). I've watched enough television drama to know that juries are only used for pretty serious cases.

So I started to read through the list of things that might disqualify someone from serving on a jury, but none of them seemed to apply. I AM a citizen, I AM over the age of majority, I'm NOT a warden or correctional officer. This list was a bit discouraging. But then I came to the list of reasons a person might be excused from duty, and I thought I might be able to make a case for myself.

Nursing mother: I still nurse anywhere from 3-15 times a day, but who would believe this? Janae is almost 19 months old! And how could I prove that I'm still nursing? The letter says that documentation is required. I was thinking, though, that I might be able to forge a letter from my Leche League team leader, verifying that I am, in fact, a nursing mother.

Self-employed: Yes, I do run Jason's business, but again--I need proof!

Subject to a mental infirmity incompatible with the discharge of duties of a juror: There is NO QUESTION about this one--I am way too sensitive to anything sad (I still cry whenever I see a kite, even though it's been 8 months since I read The Kite Runner), anything scary (I refuse to watch the preview for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, even though I've read the book), or anything violent (I have to look the other way when we pass holes that have been cut in our fence). And then there's my insomnia, which comes back any time I hear or see something even remotely disturbing--for example, I can't sleep at night after hearing stories like "The Little Match Girl" because I feel so sad for all the children who grow up in poverty. Could you imagine how serving on a jury would affect my sleep?

But how could I make the judge aware of my danger of falling off the edge if I have to serve on the jury of a criminal case?

Of course, my first court appearance is only to determine if I am suitable to serve on a jury. I may or may not be kept to hear an actual case. And part of me thinks it would be really interesting. I can hear the theme from Law and Order playing, even as I write this post. Maybe I will see you in court. . . .