Ahem . . . Library Research

 

A week or so ago, Jason and his crew were working outside at the co-op, and Ben was talking to the boys (teenage boys from the church) as they sat down to eat their lunch. I was a little way's off, supervising Janae as she chased after two of the neighbor's cats, but I could hear the conversation. Ben was telling the boys about how grown up he was. All of a sudden he said, "And I don't nurse!!" The boys all laughed, and one of them said, "That's good." I, of course, was a little embarrassed at the thought that I might have recently nursed a 4 year old--which I HAVEN'T--Ben was completely weaned by 14 months, which I always think of as quite respectable.

But, as most of you know, Janae is not yet weaned (and for those of you who didn't know, I guess the "secret" is now out!). This is actually a huge understatement, since she is still nursing at least 4 times every day/night, and she shows no sign of stopping. While the BC Nurses Federation recommends breastfeeding "until age 2 and beyond," and we've all heard of those TV shows where they bring out the 7 year olds who are still nursing, I sometimes feel that Janae should be weaned by now! So I decided to take my usual approach to such matters: I went to the library to check out some books that could give me the answers. Well, our library--which I have always found sadly lacking (after being spoiled by the 5-floor library at BYU, I guess)--actually had two books that mentioned the topic of weaning. One was published by La Leche League International and titled "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler"; the other was written by someone calling herself "Dr. Mom," but who actually did have an M.D.

Anyway, I brought my books home (after being a little embarrassed at the checkout desk--thinking the attendant was eyeing Janae and wondering if such a grown-up girl could actually still be nursing) and started to read them while Janae slept and Ben watched his science video about alligators and other lizards. As I read the first book, I started to say aloud things like, "Oh no," and "Oh dear" (which worked nicely because Ben assumed I was talking about his video and thought I was paying attention!). Listen to some of the chapter/section titles: "Part 3--Nursing Your Toddler Year by Year," "Nursing in the Second Year," "Nursing through the Terrible Twos," "Nursing a Three-Year-Old," "Nursing Past Four"--I bet you're saying the same things I was: "Oh no!" "Oh dear!"

The book went on to discuss all of the horribly cruel ways mothers might try to force toddlers to wean, depriving them of comfort and setting them up for a disturbing range of psychological problems. Then it had a chapter called "Some Less Dramatic Weaning Techniques," which basically advised mothers not to offer but not to decline "requests" to nurse. The other book by Dr. Mom agreed.

So what does this mean for me? Sleepless nights when Janae "requests" nursing several times, never again wearing a dress that does up at the back, nursing a child before dropping her off for kindergarten??? I sure hope not! I think I'm going to distract Janae as much as possible, make sure she's filled up with other food before bedtime, give her lots of extra love and attention in other ways, and move the rocking chair to an out-of-sight location. Oh, and I definitely need to find a bigger and better library, because I'm sure there is a book somewhere that can help. We'll see how it goes. . .